What Do You Want From Me?
by Sonata Rapp
Summary: Days after that fateful Christmas, Roger made a mistake he's regretted since. It's too bad there's no such thing as second chances. Right?
1. Prologue

Prologue

_December 30, 1989_

"What!?!"

"Roger please stop yelling. I-"

"You what? You forgot to tell me?"

"I was _dying! _What did you want me to do?"

"I don't know, Mimi. Maybe tell me that you're carrying my-"

"Keep your voice down!"

"Why? So you can lie to more people about it?"

"I didn't lie!"

"Omission is still lying as Mark is so fond of telling me."

"Well I'm telling you now. I'm pregnant. With your child."

"Are you sure it's not Benny's?"

"I've never fucked Benny you asshole. This is your responsibility!"

"What do you want from me, Mimi?"

"I want you to help me!"

"Alright. Fine. Do you want me to make the appointment?"

"…which appointment?"

"I'll ask Maureen. If anyone would know about these kinda things, it her."

"_What_ kind of things, Roger? You can't be talking about…"

"Mimi. We can't keep it."

"Are you crazy?"

"Are _you_? We're HIV fucking positive."

"There's a chance-"

"Fuck the chances, Mimi! I won't…"

"You won't what? You won't do this with me?"

"I…can't. I can't watch my kid die because of us being fuckheads. I love you but… There's no guarantee you'll make it through this."

"At least I'm willing to try."

"Well I'm not."

* * *

_December 31, 1989_

Mark looked up from where he was watching Proof Positive for the hundredth time as Roger walked in. "Hey, man. Are you okay?"

The musician did not have the glow about him that he'd had in the week it had been since Mimi had miraculously been revived. In fact, he looked like he, or someone else was dying. "Fuck." was all Roger would say. Then for good measure he said it again. "Fuck!"

"Okay I'm going to need a hint or something here, Rog. Where's Mimi?"

"Who the hell knows?"

"What happened?"

"She left."

"Where did she go?"

"I don't know, Mark! God damnit!"

"I'm not following, Roger. She's not supposed to be out in the cold right now."

Roger slammed his hands against the metal table. "Well that's her issue isn't it?"

Mark frowned. He knew he was missing something and the only way to figure it out was to pry. "I hate to keep saying this, but I have no idea what the hell you're talking about. What. Happened?"

"She was pregnant." Roger muttered.

"And then she disappeared?"

"No. Then she got pissed that I didn't want the kid and left in the middle of the night."

There was a moment of silence as both of them processed that bit of information. "You've…been looking for her. Right?"

"Where the fuck do you think I've been all day?"

"Okay okay. So, what are you going to do?"

"No fucking clue."

* * *

A/N: Alright guys. This is my first Rent story in probably over a year. Hopefully I'll see this one through. To clarify some stuff, Mimi is about 3 months pregnant when she has her miraculous revival in this story. Angel is alive and well, too. It's been awhile since I've done anything in this fandom, so please let me know what you think.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

_December 30, 2009_

"Sonata!"

The shout rang through the little house. A head full of curly light brown hair popped around the corner. "_Si, Mami_?"

"Come here, _hijita_."

Their house was small, but it was plenty big enough for Mimi Marquez and her children. Nineteen years ago she had given birth to twins, a boy and a girl. She worked as a cocktail waitress on the Upper East Side. The former dancer didn't earn much, but it had been enough to raise her kids decently. Now they were practically grown, and there was something that she had to do.

"What's up, Ma?" Sonata came into the kitchen where her mother was. The girl did both of her parents justice. She had the creamy complexion and wild curly hair of her mother, but the sparking green eyes that were all her father's. Her brother was different. He was blonde, like Roger, but his hair was very curly. He had Mimi's eyes and was darker than his sister.

"Aunt Angel and Uncle Collins are going to swing by. I want you and Michelangelo to go with them." Mimi said.

Sonata narrowed her eyes at her mother. She couldn't help but notice that her mother had been looking paler lately and she hadn't been working as much. Luckily both she and Mikey had jobs to help pay the bills.

"Are you alright, _Mami_?" the young woman asked.

"_Si. _Just tired, baby. Tell Michelangelo the plan, will you?"

"Of course."

"_Gracias. _I'm going to go lie down."

* * *

_January 12, 1990_

It had been a rough couple of weeks for Roger Davis. The new year came in with him frantically searching for Mimi and snapping at everyone who asked where she was. On this night he was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands when the door slid open.

"Happy New Year, crackers!" Collins called as he entered the loft.

"You're a few days late, Thomas." Mark answered, coming out of his room.

"Well there's a reason for that, kid." Collins said. "I see Roger's in his usual place."

The musician didn't even respond and Mark sighed. "Mimi's gone. Again."

Collins rolled his eyes. "She's not missing, Roger."

Roger looked up, his eyes bloodshot. "What?"

"Angel and I know where she is." Collins raised a hand before Roger could say anything. "I'm not going to tell you where."

"Don't fuck with me, Collins!" Roger shouted. "Where is my girlfriend?"

"Calm down, white boy." the professor said calmly. "There are two things you need to be aware of. One, she doesn't want you to know where she is. Two, I don't think she's your girlfriend anymore."

"But she's okay?" Mark wanted to know.

"Yeah. Angel's making sure she has everything she needs for the baby and all."

The bespectacled man glanced at his friend who had crumpled in defeat. "Is she…will we see her again?"

Collins shrugged. "That's up to her. She's pretty upset right now. Angel's trying to work her magic, but it's going to take some time."

* * *

_August 10, 1990_

A letter, delivered to the loft by a beaming Angel, given to Mark, and read by a reluctant Roger:

_R,_

_I thought you should know that after 42 hours of labor and swearing and practically ripping Angel's hand off, I am the mother of two beautiful babies. A boy, who I named Michelangelo because I love that name. And a girl, Sonata. That was for you. I hope you can see them one day. But I need to know that you're going to be descent to them. It's your fault, not theirs, that we aren't together anymore. _

_Oh, and they're negative.

* * *

_

_December 30, 2009 6 p.m. EST_

Angel sighed as she and Collins drove up to the little yellow house. "This is going to be extremely awkward." she said.

"Yeah. But you have to admit, it's time."

"Past time. I'm worried about Meems, though."

"She did look pale the last time I saw her. And she's gotten thin. Well, thinner."

"Mimi's running out of time."

"And the question is, who's going to tell Roger?" Collins mused.

Angel sighed again. "Let's go." The two of them walked up to the front door and knocked. "I'll talk to Mimi, you grab the twins."

Michelangelo opened the door with a grin. "Hey, Aunt Angel, Uncle Collins."

"Hello there, Mickey!" Angel said and kissed his cheek. "Where's your mother?"

"Sleeping." the young man replied. "Is…something going on with her?"

The drag queen's smile faltered for a second. She would not lie to the boy, but if Mimi was dying then it wasn't really her place. "I don't know." Angel answered honestly. "She might be getting sicker.

"Wonderful." Michelangelo rolled his eyes. "Come on in."

The couple entered the modest house and exchanged worried looks. There was always the smell of something cooking when they entered the Marquez household. Mimi loved having her own kitchen that she could keep stocked, and had enrolled in cooking classes when she could afford it. The fact that the air lacked the scent of something simmering or baking, meant that the former dancer was really feeling sick.

Angel looked at her husband and he nodded. "Come on, kid. Let's go get your sister." Collins said, and he and Michelangelo disappeared deeper into the house.

Angel took a steadying breath. If she were being honest with herself, it was a miracle that any of them were still alive. She and Collins had somehow beaten the odds, and were well into their forties. The drag queen liked to say that it was love keeping them together. Mimi had the twins, but Angel knew that she always thought about Roger. It was not doing good things to her health.

Deciding that there would be time for thinking later, Angel put her usual smile on her face and headed to her best friend's bedroom.

Mimi was curled up in a ball under the covers, visibly shivering. Angel frowned and grabbed the quilt that was folded over one of the chairs in the room and draped it over the small woman. "Mimi _chica_?" she asked.

"Ang?" Mimi sat up, a deep cough rattling in her chest. "Hey. I didn't hear you guys come in. Are the twins ready?"

"Collins is gathering them." the drag queen replied. "Are you alright, _chica_?"

Mimi nodded her curly head emphatically. "Just cold. It is December, you know."

Angel arched a well manicured brow. "Don't lie to me, Lucia."

Mimi winced. "Was using my real name necessary?"

"Yes! You are obviously not feeling well and that is something worrisome. So do not try to brush me off by saying that you are just cold. That cough sounds like more than you just being cold. Or _having _a cold for that matter."

"Okay okay." the smaller woman said, sagging in defeat. "I've been coughing a lot lately, and to be honest, I haven't been really warm since September no matter how many blankets I use. Angel I…I think it might be time."

There were no words of false hope from Angel. She just reached out and took her best friend's hand in hers. "If it is, then there are things you need to do, _chica_. Things that perhaps might need to happen over at the loft?"

Mimi gave her an unfriendly look. "We've been over this, Angel."

"_Si_. We have. And you agreed to let the twins finally meet their father. Don't you want to see Roger again before you die?"

It was a loaded question…

* * *

Roger Davis looked in the mirror with a sigh. He was forty-three years old but could have easily passed for someone just over thirty. Normally he would have been proud of this, boasting to anyone who would listen. But today he just felt old.

It was the 20th anniversary of the day Mimi had walked out on him. He still thought that he had been right, and that the chance she took was too risky. The fact that the twins were HIV negative was simply a stroke of luck.

In the nineteen years since his children had been born, he hadn't seen them once. Mimi had offered more than once, but it just felt like it would be too hard. He wasn't sure if he could look at two perfect examples of how stupid he was.

The front door slid open just then and there was the sound of clinking bottles. Mark was obviously home from the liquor store. "Rog? You around?" the man called.

Roger didn't even bother answering. Mark knew that he was home. He was either home, or at work these days.

The bespectacled man stuck his head into the bathroom and rolled his eyes. "Yes, Roger. You're still beautiful. You can come out now."

The songwriter offered his roommate a lopsided grin and his middle finger. He shoved his hands into his pockets and followed Mark back into the main room of the loft. "Good haul?" he asked.

Mark nodded. "Yeah. We've been doing a really good job of not buying pointless shit lately, so there was more booze money that I thought."

"Plus we've got pretty low standards." Roger added, lifting a bottle of Aristocrat Vodka out of the bag. "You know how Collins feels about plastic bottles."

"Well when it's Collins' money, he can buy whatever the fuck he wants."

"Touché. Well either way, it'll be a good night, right?"

"Should be." Mark answered with a shrug. "Probably depends on what kind of mood Maureen's in."

Roger grimaced. "Yeah. Let's hope her and Joanne aren't on the outs. Again."

Maureen and Joanne were now legally married. Of course they still fought all the time, and Maureen still knew how to make everyone else's life a living hell when she wanted to.

Mark checked his watch. "What time did Collins say he and Angel would be by?"

"Probably around seven he said. They had to pick something up, apparently."

"Do I even want to know what this 'something' is?"

"Your guess is a good as mine." Roger asked. "I didn't ask."

The door banged open then. "Happy New Year, whores!" Collins shouted as he entered.

Mark and Roger rolled their eyes. "Too early, man." the former said, moving in for a hug. "So what's this thing you had to pick up and how much trouble will it cause us?"

"Well it's more for Roger than anything." Collins answered, giving Mark a wink. Blue eyes widened as the professor motioned for Angel to come in.

She did, and behind her were two of the last people Mark ever expected to see in his home. He turned to look at his best friend, whose mouth was hanging open in shock.

Angel cleared her throat. "Michelangelo, Sonata, meet Roger Davis: your father."

* * *

A/N: I am so sorry this took so long. RENT stories have just gotten a lot harder for me, and the transitions in this story are complicated to arrange. Excuses aside, I hope you guys are still reading this. I have the next couple chapters planned out and they should be up sometime in the next week or so. Please let me know what you thought of this.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_December 31, 1990_

Roger looked up from where he was watching rain streak down the large window in the loft. Mark was staring at him intensely, a small frown on his face.

"I'm not going to off myself or anything." the musician snapped. "You can go out, you know."

Mark just shook his head and moved to get his coat.

"I mean, it's been a year, right?" Roger continued. "I lasted a year and nothing bad happened. She's gonna come back eventually."

"Have you ever thought about going to _her_?" the filmmaker asked. "She called the other day to see if you wanted to meet the twins. Again."

"What would I say to them?"

Mark smiled. "The nice thing about babies is that it rarely matters _what_ you say since they can't understand you."

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I do. I still think you should go see them. Mimi has a life of her own now. A job and kids to take care of. She's not just going to sit around waiting for you."

Roger sighed and ran a hand over his unshaven face. "I don't want to think about it. Weren't you going to buy booze?"

Mark rolled his eyes. "Yes, mister one track mind, I was. You wanna come?"

"It's pouring outside." Roger remarked.

"And yet you still expect me to go out in it so you can get drunk tonight. Come on, you've barely seen the outside this year. Live a little."

"This coming from the guy who hasn't had sex in how long?"

Mark flipped the other man off and tossed him his coat. "And for that little comment, you no longer have a choice. Get off your ass, Davis."

"Fine, fine." Roger grumbled. "Don't we at least have any umbrellas?"

"Maureen took the one we had for her last performance, remember?" Mark said.

"Oh yeah. That shit about wanting to be struck by lightning as a form of inspiration."

"Right. So we could either buy new ones…or we could drink."

"Well you know my vote." Roger replied. "I plan to be wasted on this day from now until Meems and I get back together."

Mark shook his head again, but made no further comments on the situation.

* * *

_December 31, 1999; 11:53 p.m. EST_

"Whooooo! Happy New Year!"

Mark grinned as he filmed his ex girlfriend leaning over the rail of the fire escape, shouting at the revelers below. "It's not even midnight yet, Maur." he said with a chuckle.

"Who cares, Pookie?" the diva slurred. "It's almost a new millennium. HAPPY NEW YEAR, BITCHES!!!!"

"Hey, that's my line." Collins complained as he came out to join them. "Where's your coat, Mo?"

"The vodka's keeping me warm." the brunette responded.

"You're a little late to the party, Thomas." Mark commented.

The professor fixed the smaller man with a serious look. "You know why."

"I do. How's Mimi?"

"She's doing well. A little disappointed that it's been ten years and the boy hasn't been to see her or the kids."

Mark sighed. "I've been trying to talk him into it, but it's useless. Not even appealing to his sense of guilt is working."

Collins shrugged. "It's his issue. Mimi's happier than she's been in a while. She'll survive, even if he keeps his head up his ass. Speaking of, where is the dumb fucker?"

"On the roof." Mark replied. "He wanted some 'alone time.'"

"Doesn't he get enough of that when you're at work and he's just here?" Maureen asked, jumping into the conversation.

"Well he has a job now too, remember." Mark said. "So at least he gets out."

"Mhmm." Collins checked his watch. "Two minutes. I left Angel with Mimi so she wouldn't ring in the new year alone. Where's Joanne?"

Maureen rolled her eyes. "Some law party thing. She told me I wasn't allowed to go."

"Would you have wanted to?" Mark wanted to know.

"Fuck no. But it's the principle of the thing."

Collins laughed at that. "One minute." He turned around so he was facing the building. "Davis! Get your skinny white ass down here. You are ringing in the year 2000 with us!" he bellowed.

There was no response from above, but the sound of the door banging shut and footsteps clanging down the stairs let them know Roger had heard.

The dirty blonde emerged through the window just as Collins began the twenty second countdown. He lit a joint as they counted, bringing it to hips lips and inhaling deeply as they crossed the five second mark.

"four…three…two…one! HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Maureen and Mark shouted.

Collins exhaled a stream of smoke and grinned at them. "Happy New Year." He turned to glare at Roger.

"Happy New Year." he responded softly.

* * *

_December 30, 2009; 7:05 p.m. EST_

"…"

The loft was deadly quiet and had been for the last minute or so. Mark, Angel, and Collins had moved back so that Roger and the twins were alone in the middle of the loft.

"…our what, Aunt Angel?" Michelangelo said finally.

"Your father, boy." Collins interjected. "The man who's half responsible for your existence." It was undeniable really. Sonata and Michelangelo both looked enough like Roger that there was no question.

"Um…hi?" Sonata tried.

Roger looked at her. "Hey." he said weakly. "I'm…not really sure what to do here."

"You could explain where you've been all this time." Michelangelo responded, folding his arms. Sonata elbowed him, and he glared back at her. "We have a right to know, Sonata."

"…I…" Roger swallowed hard. His brain seemed to have stopped working. Here in front of him were his children. They were the spitting images of him and Mimi, and that was freaking him out. "I'm sorry?" he offered.

"Are you?" Sonata spoke up. "Did you ever want to meet us?"

"Yes!" the musician answered immediately. "But as the years went by…it just got harder. I…" he shook his head.

Mark sensed that his friend was quickly reaching the end of his wits. "Mickey, Sonata, why don't you hang out here with Collins and Angel, and Roger and I will go get some food. You guys hungry?"

"We could eat." Michelangelo replied. He sat stubbornly on the couch and glared at his father.

"Great. Stay here." The filmmaker grabbed his coat and Roger's and tugged the other man out the door. Once they were down the stairs and headed out into the night, Mark rounded on him. "You've got to do better than this Roger!" he said.

"How do you expect me to handle this? They just showed up!" Roger shouted back.

"At least you knew they existed. How many times do you think Mimi's told them about the father they may or may not ever meet?"

That was a valid point, Roger had to admit. He took a deep breath. "You're right."

"I know. Now, what are you going to say when we go back?"

Roger looked at the ground. "Um…that I'm sorry I'm a dead beat jackass? I could explain why I was never around. Tell them the risk Mimi took and how I was scared?"

Mark nodded. "That sounds good."

Something occurred to the songwriter then. "Mark, do they know? About Mimi?"

"Yeah." Mark answered with a sigh. "They know. She's never tried to hide it from them. But there's a reason why Sonata and Michelangelo are here now and I'm worried about what it means for Mimi."

* * *

A/N: Thanks for the flood of reviews guys! Warms the heart, the do. Anyway, the next update of this might take a while to get up. I'm working on a lot of stories in other fandoms, and I just saw Spring Awakening the other day so that is going to be my new obsession. Never fear though; this story will not fall by the wayside. Something that has come to my attention is that this story might be a little cliché and illogical. To the latter I say, hell it's fan fiction, logic is relative. But I do want this to be something that people enjoy reading, so if you feel it's becoming too cliché, let me know. If enough people feel like that then it will take another direction. If it's just one or two then I'll continue as planned. As always, thanks for the reviews, and let me know what you thought of this.


End file.
